"serving leftovers to a Holy God"

"O God, you are my God, earnestly I seek you; my soul thirsts for you, my body longs for you, in a dry and weary land where there is no water. I have seen you in the sactuary and beheld your power and your glory. Because your love is better than life, my lips will glorify you. I will praise you as long as I live, and in your name I will lift up my hands. My soul will be satisfied as with the richest of food; with singing lips my mouth will praise you." - Psalm 63:1-5

I just need to vent for a little minute. I'm upset with myself... really... I don't know why I couldn't see this before now. I started reading the book "Crazy Love" by Francis Chan for our Premier Bible Study. I absolutely love our Bible Studies and they all change my life in some way. This book though--- has really changed my heart. I'm not even finished with the book yet and already I know my life is changing... for the better.

The author starts talking about being a lukewarm Christian. (something that I would have never really called myself prior to reading this book) As I'm reading this chapter- I start realizing how little focus I am putting on Christ. I get so caught up in our finances, planning our schedules, and working for the Lord that I totally miss what God really wants from me. I am always setting goals- and I love for things to be planned out. I am a really good person. I hate to break the rules (I've just always been like that) and I do truly love God. But do I truly act like I am in love with God? Not by necessarily doing bad things-- but just not always choosing Christ first.

"Jesus Christ didn't die only to save us from hell; He also died to save us from our bondage to sin." Jesus says, "I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full." (John 10:10) That is talking about in this life... the here and now. So why do I put so much focus on how much money we make or what plans we have going on. All I need to focus on is falling in love with Christ- and he will give me life abundantly. That is such a freeing thought.

I never want to become complacent  in my walk with Christ, I never want to think I'm good enough so that I don't need Christ, and I never want to forget what He did for us. I want to remember that I am fully dependent on Him. I want to think of Christ first, give Him my best, and never serve Him my leftovers.

Baby Dedication, Five Generations, and Official Work at Home Mommy!

April 10, 2011- Jayden Lane Akins dedicated to the LORD!

Psalm 127:3 "Children are a heritage from the Lord."

We wanted to dedicate Jayden when he was born, but it seemed like time went too quickly. We finally got the date planned, asked Preacher Hare to conduct the dedication, and invited all of our family. It was so amazing to see almost ALL of our family in the same church service... together...
My Granny Smith also got to come which made five generations there for the dedication. We even got to take some family pictures which we may never be able to do again. It seems like it is so difficult to get everyone together-- much less get a picture of everyone.

I started thinking about the dedication afterward. I know exactly what it means- I knew what we were doing before the service- it just hit me in a different way afterward. I can't believe we are responsible for a little life. What Jayden is taught, what he listens to, who he is around-- even what he eats, what he wears-- God has given us this responsiblity. It makes me nervous really... it is just so much to comprehend. I thank God every day for my son. (he is now 9 weeks and 3 days old)   :)
I pray every day for him. I pray for the decisions he will make- the friends he chooses to be around- what he chooses to believe. Even more- I pray that I will be a Godly Mommy. I want my son to see Jesus in my life. 
My parents were such great examples of Jesus. I can only hope to be able to the kind of light they were to my family. I never want to get relaxed in my relationship with God or with my family. I want my life to reflect Christ at every minute-- in whatever I am doing. 
I want the point of my life to point to Him. - "Crazy Love"

After saying all that-- Jamie and I have decided that I would be a work at home Mommy. My last day at the Wellness Center was Thursday, April 14, 2011. It was a very bittersweet day. I love all the people there-- but my desire is to be at home with Jayden. Even though we have had to tighten down our budget (it is worth it to me)-- and we have to plan each month a little more (which I really did anyway)-- I am so proud we get to raise our child instead of a daycare raising him for us. So now- I am full time with Premier! Something I never thought I would be able to do- but a little jewelry business made it possible for me to be at home.

It is really amazing to look back through the journey God has taken us on since we got married. I had a great job making great money... then I quit under circumstances I couldn't control. I got a part time job at the wellness center and learned to live without the money we had before. I used to think that was a bad situation-- but actually- what a great situation! I never once thought about being able to stay at home with our children, because my income was needed. God was just opening doors...
Premier is such a great company- and I can have the best of both worlds. I can stay at home with Jayden, but still have adult conversations with ladies through homeshows. (something I LOVE doing) and the income is there too!!! God is amazing! I'm so happy His thoughts and ways are higher than my own!

The Beginning...

I feel like my life is changing so quickly and I don't want to miss a minute. I want to be able to look back and remember all the memories that are currently in the making.

I am a wife to Jamie Akins, a wonderful man and my best friend. Our wedding was June 4, 2006. What a wonderful day! I had our first child, Jayden Lane Akins, February 13, 2011. He weighed 7lbs 5ozs and was 21 inches long. He has blessed our lives and we have experienced a love for him like no other. I have the best family, friends and church family I could ever ask for.

Jayden is 7 weeks and 3 days old today. He is such a wonderful baby. He is becoming so alert and following us with his eyes and smiling all the time. He can almost hold his head up-  sometimes he still wobbles around. When I lay him on his back- he rolls to his side. He has changed SO MUCH in 7 weeks. It seems like every morning there is something different.

God's love became so new and fresh to me when I experienced the love for my sweet baby boy. How amazing it is to think of how deep God's love is for us. When I look at Jayden- he is so dependent- relying on us for every single thing he needs. He crys when he is hungry and we feed him. He needs milk to survive. It is just like us as Christians. We are fully dependent on Christ. We rely on Him for every single one of our needs. We need Jesus to survive. He provides us with everything we need. What an amazing thought!

I am so blessed...